Finally gave birth on my side the third time around. It was a much better experience, and a much better recovery. I am so pissed the back is the default direction given to mothers.
The first with a (great as could be expected) OBGYN, the second and third with hospital midwives. I'd say they were pretty similar - vaginal hospital birth with a long labor and epidurals (see also: long labors with no sleep except what the epidural afforded. lol) I never felt entirely pressured to do anything, and options for everything were always explained. But not for the birthing position! Much of this is pure ignorance. For some reason I researched everything pregnancy-related but that (pivotal) part. So it was more like "okay so let's put you on your back with your feet in these stirrups". With my third I had a naturally-minded nurse who helped with alternate and helpful birthing positions, and for pushing I was finally like "you know what, I tore the first two times and that was kinda uncomfy, let's try the side." It was honestly so much smoother (or was it the third kid?) and no tearing. I think much of this comes down to our own education as mothers and the ability to kinda advocate for yourself. Not that everyone will be antagonistic (most won't!) but that there is a default that, unless you request otherwise, so that's just what many women go with. After having a first child, I've seen many women --including myself-- gain confidence to do differently with their subsequent children (whether that's birth or nursing, etc) because the first baby is *such* a learning curve and we often haven't built up that confidence of experience.
Finally gave birth on my side the third time around. It was a much better experience, and a much better recovery. I am so pissed the back is the default direction given to mothers.
I’m so glad you were able to make the switch. I’d be curious to hear about your other birth experiences before that!
The first with a (great as could be expected) OBGYN, the second and third with hospital midwives. I'd say they were pretty similar - vaginal hospital birth with a long labor and epidurals (see also: long labors with no sleep except what the epidural afforded. lol) I never felt entirely pressured to do anything, and options for everything were always explained. But not for the birthing position! Much of this is pure ignorance. For some reason I researched everything pregnancy-related but that (pivotal) part. So it was more like "okay so let's put you on your back with your feet in these stirrups". With my third I had a naturally-minded nurse who helped with alternate and helpful birthing positions, and for pushing I was finally like "you know what, I tore the first two times and that was kinda uncomfy, let's try the side." It was honestly so much smoother (or was it the third kid?) and no tearing. I think much of this comes down to our own education as mothers and the ability to kinda advocate for yourself. Not that everyone will be antagonistic (most won't!) but that there is a default that, unless you request otherwise, so that's just what many women go with. After having a first child, I've seen many women --including myself-- gain confidence to do differently with their subsequent children (whether that's birth or nursing, etc) because the first baby is *such* a learning curve and we often haven't built up that confidence of experience.
Great topic to cover. Thank you so much.